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bar chart compares the percentage of different social networking platforms visited by the Canadian residents in 2014 and 2015.

bar chart compares the percentage of different social networking platforms visited by the Canadian residents in 2014 and 2015. bbDoX
The bar chart compares the percentage of different social networking platforms visited by the Canadian residents in 2014 and 2015. It is clear that internet users showed the tendency o depend on one site rather than using multiple sites in both the years while there was also significant number of population who were not at all interested in any social networking services. In 2014 there were 22% of internet users did not browse any networking site and it is slightly bent down to 21% in 2015. The rates of one site visitors was 36% in 2014 underwhich the highest count of people are grouped. However this value declined sharply to 28% from 2014 to 2015. On the other hand the number of two sites was almost remained same by 23% and 24% in 2014 and 2015. In 2014, the Canadin’s reported using 3 sites, 4 sites and 5 sites were 12%, 5% and 2% respectively in 2014, but in 2015 there was a gradual rise in the users by 4%, 3% and 2%.
The bar chart compares the percentage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
social networking platforms visited by the Canadian residents in 2014 and 2015.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that internet users
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the tendency o depend on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
rather
than using multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
in both the years while there was
also
significant number of population who were not at all interested in any social networking services.

In 2014 there were 22% of internet users did not browse any networking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
and it is
slightly
bent down to 21% in 2015. The rates of one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
site
visitors was 36% in 2014
Possible spelling mistake found.
underwhich
the highest count of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are grouped
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this value declined
sharply
to 28% from 2014 to 2015.
On the other hand
the number of two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
was almost remained same by 23% and 24% in 2014 and 2015.

In 2014, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Canadin
’s reported using 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
, 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
were 12%, 5% and 2%
respectively
in 2014,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in 2015 there was a gradual rise in the users by 4%, 3% and 2%.
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IELTS academic bar chart compares the percentage of different social networking platforms visited by the Canadian residents in 2014 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
173 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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