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The bar chart gives information about the percentage of men and women who live in Australia, do physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart gives information about the percentage of men and women who live in Australia, do physical activity in 2010. JVD0D
The bar chart gives information about the percentage of men and women who live in Australia, do physical activity in 2010. Overall, it can clearly be seen that, there was a big gap between the percentage of men from 35 to 44 years old and 45 to 54 years old. The percentage of women from 54 years old doing regular physical activity was the highest, while that of men from 35 years old was the lowest. As can be seen from the chart, from 15 to 24 years old, the percentage of Australian men doing physical activity achieved 52, 8% which was 5, 1% more than that of women (47, 7%). From 65 years and over, the percentage of both men and women doing regular physical activity were approximately (46, 7% for men and 47, 1% for women, respectively). It is worth noticing that, from 25 to 64 years old, there was a big gap between the percentage of women and men doing regular physical activity were approximately 53, 3% for women while 43, 1% for men).
The bar chart gives information about the
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percentage
of
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men
and
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women
who
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live
in Australia, do
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physical
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activity
in 2010.

Overall
, it can
clearly
be
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seen
that, there was a
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big
gap between the
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percentage
of
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men
from 35 to 44 years
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old
and 45 to 54 years
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old
. The
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percentage
of
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women
from 54 years
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old
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doing
regular
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physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
was the highest, while that of
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men
from 35 years
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old
was the lowest.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, from 15 to 24 years
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old
, the
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percentage
of Australian
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men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
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physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
achieved 52, 8% which was 5, 1% more than that of
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women
(47, 7%). From 65 years and over, the
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percentage
of both
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men
and
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women
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doing
regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
were approximately (46, 7% for
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men
and 47, 1% for
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women
,
respectively
).

It is worth noticing that, from 25 to 64 years
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old
, there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
were approximately 53, 3% for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
while 43, 1% for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
Unpaired symbol: '(' seems to be missing
)
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart gives information about the percentage of men and women who live in Australia, do physical activity in 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
177 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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