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The provided table showed information related to the global market share made by the phone manufactures between 2005 and 2006.

The provided table showed information related to the global market share made by the phone manufactures between 2005 and 2006. W8gke
It is clearly seen in the table that, Nokia was the leading market, 32, 5% in 2005 and 35% in 2006. The share market made by Nokia was the highest among other phone companies. The close competitor to Nokia were Motorola and Samsung. Motorola’s share market was 17, 7% in 2005 and increase slightly 21. 1% in 2006. Samsung, in contrast, decline from 12, 7 in 2005 to 11, 8 in 2006. The rest of the company listed such Soni Ericsson share market 6. 3% in 2005 and increase slightly to 7. 4% in 2006 whereas L. G decreased slightly from 6. 7% to 6. 3% and BenQ Mobile’s share 4. 9% in 2005 and in 2006 share only a half than in 2005. The other companies accounted for 19. 2% of the market share in 2005 more than others except Nokia. In 2006, However, the other company only share 16. 2% market less than both Nokia and Motorola.
It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the table that, Nokia was the leading
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market
, 32, 5% in 2005 and 35% in 2006. The
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share
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market
made by Nokia was the highest among
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other
phone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

The close competitor to Nokia were Motorola and Samsung. Motorola’s
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share
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market
was 17, 7% in 2005 and increase
slightly
21. 1% in 2006. Samsung,
in contrast
, decline from 12, 7 in 2005 to 11, 8 in 2006.

The rest of the
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company
listed such
Possible spelling mistake found.
Soni
Ericsson
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share
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market
6. 3% in 2005 and increase
slightly
to 7. 4% in 2006 whereas L. G decreased
slightly
from 6. 7% to 6. 3% and
Possible spelling mistake found.
BenQ
Mobile’s
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share
4. 9% in 2005 and in 2006
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share
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a half than in 2005.

The
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other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
accounted for 19. 2% of the
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market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
in 2005 more than others except Nokia. In 2006,
However
, the
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other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
16. 2%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
less than both Nokia and Motorola.

IELTS academic The provided table showed information related to the global market share made by the phone manufactures between 2005 and 2006.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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