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The provided line graph delinates how much gold was sold during 12 months in millions of dirhams in 2002 in Dubai. Now

The provided line graph delinates how much gold was sold during 12 months in millions of dirhams in 2002 in Dubai. Now b3MMQ
The provided line graph delinates how much gold was sold during 12 months in millions of dirhams in 2002 in Dubai. Now turning to the details we can see that the amount of money spent on gold goods fluctuated during the beginning to the end of the year. According to the illustration sales were coherently above 200 million dirhams per month, increasing sharply a high peak of 350 million dirhams in spring, March. In spite of the next four months selling descreased steadily, reaching an annual downward in July approximately 120 million dirhams. It is interesting to note that sales in August had upward trend rising from 120 million dirhams in July to about 210 million dirhams till the end of August. From September to October trade restored from 120 to 180 million. During the next three months trade turnovers of gold remained stable.
The provided line graph
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delinates
how much gold
was sold
during 12
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months
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
of
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dirhams
in 2002 in Dubai.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
turning to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the amount of money spent on gold
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
fluctuated during the beginning to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the year.

According to the illustration sales were
coherently
above 200
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million
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dirhams
per
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month
, increasing
sharply
a high peak of 350
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
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dirhams
in spring, March.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the
next
four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
selling
Possible spelling mistake found.
descreased
steadily
, reaching an annual downward in July approximately 120
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
.

It is interesting to note that sales in August had upward trend rising from 120
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
in July to about 210
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
Possible spelling mistake found.
dirhams
till the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of August.

From September to October trade restored from 120 to 180
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. During the
next
three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
months
trade turnovers of gold remained stable.
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IELTS academic The provided line graph delinates how much gold was sold during 12 months in millions of dirhams in 2002 in Dubai. Now

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
144 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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