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The process below shows the production of chocolate

The process below shows the production of chocolate PkK1g
The diagram demonstrates the information regarding the process of production of chocolate. It is readily apparent that in first step, ripe red pods are collected from cacao tree, which is grown in South America, Africa and Indonesia. Subsequently, ripe red pods are harvested in next step and white cacao beans are gathered from it. There after, in following step, white cacao beans are fermented on a wooden frame nextly, fourth step involves the drying of beans by spreading them on large tray under the sun. Thereby, dried beans are packed in a large sacks. Further scrutinizing the diagram, it is clear that packed beans are transported through train or lorry in seventh stage. Afterwards, in a subsequent step the beans are delivered to the industry. Then in eight step, beans are roasted at 350 degrees celsius temperature. Following this, in a next step, beans are crushed and outer shell is separated. At last, that inner part of the beans is pressed and then a liquid chocolate is produced from it. Overall, manufacture process of chocolate involves ten steps. Alll these steps are essential to follow for the production of chocolate. If one step would miss, then require outcome would not be witnessed.
The diagram demonstrates the information regarding the process of production of chocolate. It is
readily
apparent that in
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, ripe red pods
are collected
from cacao tree, which
is grown
in South America, Africa and Indonesia.
Subsequently
, ripe red pods
are harvested
in
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
and white cacao
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are gathered
from it.
Did you mean "thereafter" (= adverb, 'after that')?
There after
, in following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
, white cacao
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are fermented
on a wooden frame
Possible spelling mistake found.
nextly
, fourth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
involves the drying of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
by spreading them on large tray under the sun. Thereby, dried
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are packed
in a large
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "sack"?
sacks
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
scrutinizing the diagram, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that packed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are transported
through train or lorry in seventh stage. Afterwards, in a subsequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are delivered
to the industry. Then in eight
Possible agreement error. The noun 'step' seems to be countable, so consider using: "steps".
step
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are roasted
at 350 degrees
Possible spelling mistake found.
celsius
temperature. Following this, in a
next
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
are crushed
and outer shell
is separated
. At last, that inner part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
beans
is pressed
and then a liquid chocolate
is produced
from it.

Overall
, manufacture process of chocolate involves ten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Alll
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
steps
are essential to follow for the production of chocolate. If one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
would miss, then require outcome would not
be witnessed
.
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IELTS academic The process below shows the production of chocolate

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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