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The bar chart compares the percentage of the age of the first time when women gave birth in Australia from 1966 to 2006.

The bar chart compares the percentage of the age of the first time when women gave birth in Australia from 1966 to 2006. a7rN9
The bar chart compares the percentage of the age of the first time when women gave birth in Australia from 1966 to 2006. It is noticeable that the proportion of the younger generation giving birth to their first child has decreased these days. However, the rate increased for those women giving birth in their 30s over the period shown. In the year 1966, the percentage of women who gave birth to their first child at age of 20 to 24 was the highest. However, there was a significant drop in the number of people giving first birth at this age in 1986 from 61% to 49%. Besides, the proportion of women aged 19 and under giving birth also went down by about 14%. On the other hand, the figure for women giving birth at ages 25 to 39 went up during this survey. By 1986, the percentage of women aged 25 to 30 giving birth reached a peak to 50% and dropped by nearly 10% in 2006. By contrast, a dramatically increase was seen in the proportion of people aged 30-39 who gave birth to first child from 1966 to 2006.
The bar chart compares the percentage of the
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age
of the
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first
time when
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women
gave
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birth
in Australia from 1966 to 2006.

It is noticeable that the proportion of the younger generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
child has decreased these days.
However
, the rate increased for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
in their 30s over the period shown.

In the year 1966, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
child at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 20 to 24 was the highest.
However
, there was a significant drop in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
in 1986 from 61% to 49%.
Besides
, the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
aged 19 and under
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
also
went down by about 14%.

On the other hand
, the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
25 to 39 went up during this survey. By 1986, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
aged 25 to 30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
reached a peak to 50% and dropped by
nearly
10% in 2006. By contrast, a
You used an adverb ('dramatically') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
dramatically increase
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aged 30-39 who gave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
birth
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
child from 1966 to 2006.
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IELTS academic The bar chart compares the percentage of the age of the first time when women gave birth in Australia from 1966 to 2006.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
191 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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