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The provided graphs demonstrate the information about working positions of the history and engineering students six months since graduating from a university.

The provided graphs demonstrate the information about working positions of the history and engineering students six months since graduating from a university. mnaN
The provided graphs demonstrate the information about working positions of the history and engineering students six months since graduating from a university. Overall, it can be clearly seen that more than a half of the history and engineering graduates got a job in a two year period, while nearly quarter of the students who studied a history chose to continue their study throughout the given time. As is presented in the first graph, history graduates are more likely to work, as the percentage of employed students after graduating in both years was between 60 and 70 percent. It is interesting to note, that the number of students taking a time out was equal in both years staying just under 10%. Also, the second-year graduates were slightly less interested in further studying their major or seeking work, because their percentage varied between 22% and 2%. It is conspicuous, that the majority of engineering graduates had a full-time job, at 75% and 79% for both years, while the proportions of those continuing further study and seeking work were significantly lower, at under 12% respectively. Meanwhile, only 2% of graduates majoring in engineering chose to take a time out at the same rate for both years.
The provided graphs demonstrate the information about working positions of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
six months since graduating from a university.
Overall
, it can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that more than a half of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a job in a two
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year
period, while
nearly
quarter of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who studied a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
chose to continue their study throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time.

As
is presented
in the
first
graph,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are more likely to work, as the percentage of employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
after graduating in both years was between 60 and 70 percent. It is interesting to note, that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
taking a time out was equal in both years staying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 10%.
Also
, the second-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were
slightly
less interested in
further
studying their major or seeking work,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their percentage varied between 22% and 2%.

It is conspicuous, that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
had a full-time job, at 75% and 79% for both years, while the proportions of those continuing
further
study and seeking work were
significantly
lower, at under 12%
respectively
. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
majoring in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
chose to take a time out at the same rate for both years.
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IELTS academic The provided graphs demonstrate the information about working positions of the history and engineering students six months since graduating from a university.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
203 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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