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The bar charts illustrate what the history and engineering graduates of one university were doing half year after graduating, the diagrams monitor a two-year Overall, it is obviously that Engineering faculty have greater rate of employed graduates rather than History department during this time period.

The bar charts illustrate what the history and engineering graduates of one university were doing half year after graduating, the diagrams monitor a two-year Overall, it is obviously that Engineering faculty have greater rate of employed graduates rather than History department during this time period. 6BYG
The bar charts illustrate what the history and engineering graduates of one university were doing half year after graduating, the diagrams monitor a two-year Overall, it is obviously that Engineering faculty have greater rate of employed graduates rather than History department during this time period. In the contrast of Engineering graduates History department have less unemployment rate just under 5% with steady down by next year. The great share of Engineering graduates (nearly one tenth) shown to conclude that Engineer school’s alumnus weren't got a job. In addition to this this share rose for a bit. The small proportion of employed graduates from History department explained by a huge share of those who were gone to take subsequent degree in their studies. The share of graduates for further study was quartal of whole share and dumped for a bit in next year. G
The bar charts illustrate what the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
and
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engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
of one university were doing half year after graduating, the diagrams monitor a two-year

Overall
, it is
obviously
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Engineering
faculty have greater rate of employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
department during this time period.

In the contrast of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
department have less unemployment rate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 5% with steady down by
next
year. The great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
(
nearly
one tenth) shown
to conclude
that Engineer school’s alumnus weren't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a job.
In addition
to
Possible typo: you repeated a word
this this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
rose for a bit.

The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion of employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
History
department
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
of those who
were gone
to take subsequent degree in their studies. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
for
further
study was
Possible spelling mistake found.
quartal
of whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
and dumped for a bit in
next
year. G
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IELTS academic The bar charts illustrate what the history and engineering graduates of one university were doing half year after graduating, the diagrams monitor a two-year Overall, it is obviously that Engineering faculty have greater rate of employed graduates rather than History department during this time period.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
142 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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