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The сharts show us what graduates of history and engineering majors did six months after graduation for two years.

The сharts show us what graduates of history and engineering majors did six months after graduation for two years. 8PR5
The сharts show us what graduates of history and engineering majors did six months after graduation for two years. Overall, according to the diagrams, we can see the number of working graduates of the faculty of history a little less than engineering graduates As can be shown from the given illustration, in the first year, the number of working history graduates was about 62%, while the graduates of the engineering school was 75%. Moreover, the number of engineers increased to 79%, while the number of historians was 68%. Within two years, the number of history graduates continuing their studies was 23-25%, while engineering graduates were only 11%. Furthermore, a higher percentage of history alumni took their time out, around 8%, than the engineering graduates, who accounted for nearly 2%-3%. In addition, the number of engineers looking for work was twice as large 10%, while the number of graduates of the faculty of history is about 2-4%
The
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сharts
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show
us what
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graduates
of
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history
and
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engineering
majors did six months after graduation for two years.
Overall
, according to the diagrams, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
of the faculty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
less than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
graduates

As can
be shown
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
illustration, in the
first
year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
was about 62%, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
school was 75%.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of engineers increased to 79%, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of historians was 68%. Within two years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
continuing their studies was 23-25%, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
11%.
Furthermore
, a higher percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
alumni took their time out, around 8%, than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
engineering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
, who accounted for
nearly
2%-3%.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of engineers looking for work was twice as large 10%, while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
of the faculty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is about 2-4%
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IELTS academic The сharts show us what graduates of history and engineering majors did six months after graduation for two years.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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