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The provided chart gives information

The provided chart gives information 0pjy1
Task 1 The provided chart gives information about the comparison number between Australian male and female who did regular exercise of physical activity during 2010. It was measured in percentage and divided into six different age categories. Overall, it can be seen that most of woman’s age group had lower percentage of physical activity than the man group. The higher percentage number of man who did physical activity occur in the middle age of adult that was 45 to 54 years old. Different with the man, the percentage number of woman reach its peak in young to adulthood group that was 15 to 24 years old. In the first group of age, female who was placed into young to adulthood group 15 to 24 years old have the higher number than male. Over 52. 8% female in this group did the physical activity while the number male was 5% below the female. In contrast to the second age group, percentage number of female was significant decreased into 42. 2% when the number of man slightly rise into 48. 9%. In the middle age with range 35 to 44 years old, the man who interest to did physical move climb gradually while the woman activity fell sharply into 39. 5%. In the following range of age, that was 45 to 64 years old both of man and woman group interest to did more physical activity. In the chart, it can be seen that the percentage number for both of them was increased steadily. However, in an old range of age over 65 years old the physical activity for man and woman had the same level although had a slightly different number. Task 2 Several people assume that it is better to share much information we have in scientific experiment, business industry and academic study for others. While, the other people have different argument, they believe that keep valuable and beneficial information is better way and can not to be shared for free. However, in my own opinion though both of the groups have a following reason, I agree that share information without pay anything is better than give charge of it. With regards of individual, valuable information which shared to other people through social media, printed media or the other kind of media have a big impact for each individual person. For an instance, a journal research by student that published in university’s website can be opened by the other people in different areas even countries who has same research topic. The informations written in journal will support other student, lecturer and researcher to finish their experiment. In the other words, one information can support other researcher to produce more valuable information. It can not be imagine, how the world would be better if all of beneficial information is shared freely and support the development of infrastructure and academic field in a country. In contrast to the first assumption, all valuable information have to be charge and can not be shared for free. The possible reason which support the argument is because the high price of some research. Moreover, the time needed to done the research is long. They have to face many problem and obstacle to finish their work. For an instance, to done the university’s thesis a student have to spend money to distribute a questionnaire for the respondent. In addition, they also need time approximately one month for prepare their material and two months for the analysis. Because of this reason, some people assume that a valuable information is can not to be shared freely consider to their sacrifice to done their work. In conclusion, although both of the argument has their following reason, in my own opinion I agree that the first argument is better. Freely information can support other people to done their work and give many advantages to support their countries to be developed.
Task 1

The provided chart gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the comparison
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
between Australian male and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did regular exercise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
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activity
during 2010. It
was measured
in
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percentage
and divided into six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
categories.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
had lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
. The higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
occur in the middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of adult that was 45 to 54 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Different
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
reach its peak in young to adulthood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
that was 15 to 24 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

In the
first
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group
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was placed
into young to adulthood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
15 to 24 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
have the higher
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number
than male. Over 52. 8%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
did the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
male was 5% below the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
.
In contrast
to the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
was significant decreased into 42. 2% when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
slightly
rise into 48. 9%. In the middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
with range 35 to 44 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
interest to did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
climb
gradually
while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
fell
sharply
into 39. 5%.

In the following range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, that was 45 to 64 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
both of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
interest to did more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the chart, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
for both of them
was increased
steadily
.
However
, in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
over 65 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
man
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
woman
had the same level although had a
slightly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
number.

Task 2

Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to share much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
we have in scientific experiment, business industry and academic study for others. While, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
, they believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
and beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a better".
better
way and can not to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
for free.
However
, in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion though both of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
have a following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
without pay anything is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than give charge of it.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards of
individual,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through social media, printed media or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
kind of media have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
impact for each individual person. For an instance, a journal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
by student that published in university’s website can
be opened
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
areas even countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'countries' should be used.
has
same
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "researched".
research
topic. The
The word 'informations' is a legal term. In standard English, the word 'information' is a non-count noun. Did you mean "information"?
informations
written in journal will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
student, lecturer and researcher to finish their experiment. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
researcher to produce more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. It can not be
Consider using a past participle here: "imagined".
imagine
, how the world would be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
if all of beneficial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
freely
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the development of infrastructure and academic field in a country.

In contrast
to the
first
assumption, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be charge and can not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
for free. The possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the high price of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
Moreover
, the time needed
Did you mean "to do"?
to done
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is long. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
Possible agreement error. The noun problem seems to be countable; consider using: "many problems".
many problem
and obstacle to finish their work. For an instance,
Did you mean "to do"?
to done
the university’s thesis a student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend money to distribute a questionnaire for the respondent.
In addition
, they
also
need time approximately one month for prepare their material and two months for the analysis.
Because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
assume that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is
Consider using a past participle here: "canned".
can
not to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shared
freely
consider to their sacrifice to done their work.

In conclusion
, although both of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
has their following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
, in my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
Freely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to done their work and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
their countries to
be developed
.

IELTS academic The provided chart gives information

Academic
  American English
8 paragraphs
649 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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