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The provided bar graph represent the information about the percentages of manufacturing production in two selected notion and rest of globe from 1840 to 2000.

The provided bar graph represent the information about the percentages of manufacturing production in two selected notion and rest of globe from 1840 to 2000. m21Vn
Having a glance to the given information, in the year of 1840 Asia was on top level of making production approximately 50%, whereas Europe had 10% less productive. The construction produced of rest of the nations was almost 10%. After 40 years production has significantly rised of Europe and other countries 45% and 25% respectively. What n ghetto other side, in the Asia the construction produced was slightly decline by 10% over the years. The same trend continues as Europe and rest of the nations showed incremental growth in manufacturing process and again Asia decreased by 5% more. Probing ahead, in the period of 1960 the figure of productivity was marginal increased around 25%. Beside of this, Europe and other notions shows similar growth. At the last years, the construction produced was on higher in Asia and the world. Overall, the figure demonstrate Europe was on the peak point to manufacture production as compare to other notions.
Having a glance to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information, in the
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year
of 1840 Asia was on
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
top level
of making production approximately 50%, whereas Europe had 10% less productive. The construction produced of rest of the nations was almost 10%. After 40 years production has
significantly
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
of Europe and
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other
countries 45% and 25%
respectively
. What n ghetto
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other
side, in the Asia the construction produced was
slightly
Consider using a past participle here: "declined".
decline
by 10% over the years. The same trend continues as Europe and rest of the nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
incremental growth in manufacturing process and again Asia decreased by 5% more.

Probing ahead, in the period of 1960 the figure of productivity was marginal increased around 25%. Beside of this, Europe and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
notions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
similar growth. At the last years, the construction produced was on higher in Asia and the world.

Overall
, the figure demonstrate Europe was on the peak point to manufacture production as compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
notions.

IELTS academic The provided bar graph represent the information about the percentages of manufacturing production in two selected notion and rest of globe from 1840 to 2000.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
157 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
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Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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