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the proportion of educators categorized by gender on six distinct kinds of educational institutions

the proportion of educators categorized by gender on six distinct kinds of educational institutions W5yVK
The given bar chart depicts the proportion of educators categorized by gender on six distinct kinds of educational institutions/stages/systems in the United Kingdom, in the year 2010. Overall, it is noticeable that the percentage of female teachers tended to decrease significantly depending on the increasing level of the education system, whereas the opposite pattern was witnessed among male lecturers in the UK. As can be observed from the chart, most women hold positions at nursery schools with the percentage roughly 95%, whereas the figure for men in this area was at the lowest, at about 5%. The same pattern also was seen in primary level where over 90% of teachers were female, significantly higher than that of men. By contrast, female lecturers were in the majority in University with 75%, almost doubling the ratio of women. It was noticeable that the proportion of men and women living by teaching in College was equal, a half for each one. Besides, there was a slight difference between the data for men and women teachers, at 46% and 54% respectively in secondary school. Meanwhile, in private training institutes, more men engaged as teachers than women by 5%.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart depicts the proportion of educators categorized by gender on six distinct kinds of educational institutions/stages/systems in the United Kingdom, in the year 2010.

Overall
, it is noticeable that the percentage of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
tended to decrease
significantly
depending on the increasing level of the education system, whereas the opposite pattern
was witnessed
among male lecturers in the UK.

As can
be observed
from the chart, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
hold positions at nursery schools with the percentage roughly 95%, whereas the figure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in this area was at the lowest, at about 5%. The same pattern
also
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in primary level where over 90% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
were female,
significantly
higher than that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. By contrast, female lecturers were in the majority in University with 75%, almost doubling the ratio of women.

It was noticeable that the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
living by teaching in College was equal, a half for each one.
Besides
, there was a slight difference between the data for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, at 46% and 54%
respectively
in secondary school. Meanwhile, in private training institutes, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
engaged as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
by 5%.
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IELTS academic the proportion of educators categorized by gender on six distinct kinds of educational institutions

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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