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The provided bar graph illustrates the percentage of males and females who took part in manifold sports in the UK in the year 2008.

The provided bar graph illustrates the percentage of males and females who took part in manifold sports in the UK in the year 2008. 7P5Kb
The provided bar graph illustrates the percentage of males and females who took part in manifold sports in the UK in the year 2008. At the first glance, it can be seen from the chart that what stands out most was netball - the sport which had the greatest participation of females, while the figures for males who relished in soccer was the highest. Similarly, there was an equal proportion of boys and girls enjoying tennis in tandem basketball. The percent of males who were interested in soccer at about 25%, whereas females only accounted for five percent of this object. Likewise, Other sport stood at the second place, around 20% of masculine gender were impressed which doubled that of females (about 10%). Meanwhile, there was a significant sport called cricket, the rate of gentlemen who played this sport was 10% as opposed to the opposite sex playing (under 5%). Table tennis was appreciated by males, which was a higher proportion than females. Conversely, the figures of females who played netball were consistently high at 25% as against the proportion of males ones. Furthermore, there was a large difference in the percentage of swimming between males and females. Nonetheless, the proportion of both boys and girls who participated in tennis as well as basketball was witnessed as the similar ratio. Besides, jogging was considered as the least infatuation in both males and the opposite sex.
The provided bar graph illustrates the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in manifold
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sports
in the UK in the year 2008.

At the
first
glance, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart that what stands out most was netball
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
which had the greatest participation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
, while the figures for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
relished in soccer was the highest.
Similarly
, there was an equal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of boys and girls enjoying tennis in tandem basketball.

The percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
were interested
in soccer at about 25%, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
accounted for five percent of this object.
Likewise
, Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
stood at the second place, around 20% of masculine gender
were impressed
which doubled that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
(about 10%). Meanwhile, there was a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
called cricket, the rate of gentlemen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
played this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
was 10% as opposed to the opposite sex playing (under 5%). Table tennis
was appreciated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
, which was a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
than females.

Conversely
, the figures of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
played netball were
consistently
high at 25% as against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
ones.
Furthermore
, there was a large difference in the percentage of swimming between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
. Nonetheless, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proportion
of both boys and girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
participated in tennis
as well
as basketball
was witnessed
as the similar ratio.
Besides
, jogging
was considered
as the least infatuation in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
and the opposite sex.
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IELTS academic The provided bar graph illustrates the percentage of males and females who took part in manifold sports in the UK in the year 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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