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The proportions of British students able to speak other languages

The proportions of British students able to speak other languages BLpX6
The pie charts illustrate the percentage of ability in speaking other languages apart from English of British students at an England's university in 2000 and 2010. as can be seen from the charts, most of the students spoke only Spanish besides English in that university and they are keen on learning other languages in the 10-year period. In particular, in 2000, the figure for students who were able to speak Spanish only was 30% which was double for that of French speakers ( 15%), followed by 10% of German-speaking students. In 2010, while the rate of students speaking Spanish only increased slightly to 35%, the proportion of French speakers declined from 15% to 10%. In addition, there was no change in the figure for students who spoke German in 2010 (10%). Between 2000 and 2010, there was a noticeable rise in the percentage of students who spoke another language and two other languages by 5%, compared to the quantity of those who spoke English only decreased from 20% to 10%.
The pie charts illustrate the percentage of ability in speaking other
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languages
apart from English of British
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students
at an England's university in 2000 and 2010.

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as
can be
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seen
from the charts, most of the
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students
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spoke
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only
Spanish
besides
English in that
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
university and
they are keen on learning other
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languages
in the 10-year period.

In particular
, in 2000, the figure for
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students
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who
were able to speak Spanish
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only
was 30% which was double for that of French speakers
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(
15%), followed by 10% of German-speaking
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students
. In 2010, while the rate of
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students
speaking Spanish
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only
increased
slightly
to 35%, the proportion of French speakers declined from 15% to 10%.
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In
addition, there was no
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change
in the figure for
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students
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who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spoke
German in 2010 (10%).

Between 2000 and 2010, there was a noticeable rise in the percentage of
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students
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who
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spoke
another
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language
and two other
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languages
by 5%, compared to the quantity of those
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who
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spoke
English
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only
decreased from 20% to 10%.
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IELTS academic The proportions of British students able to speak other languages

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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