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the proportion of the population in different regions of the world with the distribution of wealth in these regions

the proportion of the population in different regions of the world with the distribution of wealth in these regions NVb9j
The graph compares the proportion of the population in different regions of the world with the distribution of wealth in these regions. You can see that wealth is highly concentrated in North America, Europe, and the high-income countries of Asia and the Pacific, which together make up nearly 90% of the world's population. can. Although North America has only about 6% of the world's population, it owns nearly 34% of the world's wealth. A similar situation can be observed in Europe, where 15% of the world's population but 30% of the world's wealth live, and in high-income countries in the Asia-Pacific region with 5% of the world's population but almost a quarter of their wealth. In contrast, the total wealth share of people in Africa, China, India, and other lower-income countries in Asia is significantly less than their share of the population, sometimes ten times as much. Most surprisingly this is in India, where 16% of the world population owns only 1% of world wealth, and in China, which has the highest proportion of the world population (24%) but only 3% of world wealth.
The graph compares the proportion of the
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population
in
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different
regions of the
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world
with the distribution of
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wealth
in these regions. You can
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see
that
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wealth
is
highly
concentrated in North America, Europe, and the high-income countries of Asia and the Pacific, which together
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make
up
nearly
90% of the
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world's
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population
.
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can
.

Although North America has
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only
about 6% of the
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world's
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population
, it
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owns
nearly
34% of the
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world's
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wealth
. A similar situation can
be observed
in Europe, where 15% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world's
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population
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but
30% of the
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world's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, and in high-income countries in the Asia-Pacific region with 5% of the
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world's
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population
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but
almost a quarter of their wealth.

In contrast
, the total
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wealth
share of
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people
in Africa, China, India, and other lower-income countries in Asia is
significantly
less than their share of the
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population
,
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sometimes
ten times as much. Most
surprisingly
this is in India, where 16% of the
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world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1% of
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world
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wealth
, and in China, which has the highest proportion of the
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world
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population
(24%)
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealth
.
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IELTS academic the proportion of the population in different regions of the world with the distribution of wealth in these regions

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
184 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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