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female unemployment rate in four countries of the UK

female unemployment rate in four countries of the UK warAY
The given bar chart compares the unemployment rates of females in England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland in the year 2013 and 2014. Overall, there were minimal changes in the proportion of jobless females in the four countries. The figure for Scotland experienced an upward trend after one year, whereas the others had a downward trend. As can be seen from the chart, England was the country in which women were most unemployed with the rate of 6. 8% in 2013. During the same time, the percentage of female unemployment in Wales was 5. 4%, which was lowest among the four given countries. Those of Scotland and Northern Ireland were 6. 1% and 5. 6% respectively. The year 2014 recorded a decrease in the unemployment rate of the United Kingdom, except for Scotland, where 6. 7% of women were jobless, followed by 6. 5% of England. The figure for Northern Ireland was significantly lower, with only a one-percent decrease than Wales (5. 0%).
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
bar chart compares the unemployment rates of females in England, Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland in the year 2013 and 2014.

Overall
, there were minimal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the proportion of jobless females in the four countries. The figure for Scotland experienced an upward trend after one year, whereas the others had a downward trend.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the chart, England was the country in which women were most unemployed with the rate of 6. 8% in 2013. During the same time, the percentage of female unemployment in Wales was 5. 4%, which was lowest among the four
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
countries. Those of Scotland and Northern Ireland were 6. 1% and 5. 6%
respectively
.

The year 2014 recorded a decrease in the unemployment rate of the United Kingdom,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Scotland, where 6. 7% of women were jobless, followed by 6. 5% of England. The figure for Northern Ireland was
significantly
lower, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a one-percent decrease than Wales (5. 0%).
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IELTS academic female unemployment rate in four countries of the UK

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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