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the chart below gives information about the revenue of A&V tech company from 2000 to 2004

the chart below gives information about the revenue of A&V tech company from 2000 to 2004 Ap7nx
The bar chart shows data on the turnover of A&V Tech company for the period from 2000 to 2004. Overall, laptops brought the highest revenue for the company, while other products including smart phones and cameras also had an upward trend in the revenue over the period, but still lower than the revenue of laptops. In 2000, the figure for laptops was $4, 2 million that was the main revenue of the company. In 2001, it decreased slightly to approximately $3 million before peaking at $8, 3 million in 2004. On the other hand, in 2000, the company did not generate any profits from smartphones and cameras. In 2001, the figure for smartphones was $-1, 8 million and that for the cameras was -$0, 5 million. Then, they increased slightly in 2002, cameras earned $1, 5 million, while smartphones were still in debt / still ran a budget deficit, with $-0, 2 million. However, the revenue coming from these two products increased dramatically in 2003 to approximately $3 million. In 2004, both figures fluctuated slightly around 3 millions.
The bar chart
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shows
data on the turnover of
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A&V
Tech
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company
for the period from 2000 to 2004.

Overall
, laptops brought the highest
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revenue
for the
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company
, while other products including smart phones and
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cameras
also
had an upward trend in the
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revenue
over the period,
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but
still
lower than the
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revenue
of laptops.

In 2000, the figure for laptops was $4, 2
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million
that was the main
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revenue
of the
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company
. In 2001, it decreased
slightly
to approximately $3
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million
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
peaking at $8, 3
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million
in 2004.

On the other hand
, in 2000, the
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company
did not generate any profits from smartphones and
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cameras
. In 2001, the figure for smartphones was $-1, 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
and that for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
was -$0, 5
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million
. Then, they increased
slightly
in 2002,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
earned $1, 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
, while smartphones were
still
in debt /
still
ran a budget deficit, with $-0, 2
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million
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
coming from these two products increased
dramatically
in 2003 to approximately $3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
million
. In 2004, both figures fluctuated
slightly
around 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
.
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IELTS academic the chart below gives information about the revenue of A&V tech company from 2000 to 2004

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
178 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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