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3. The percentage of students proficient in a foreign language in different countries in 2000.

3. The percentage of students proficient in a foreign language in different countries in 2000. XV22O
The bar chart compares the proportions of pupils in terms of capable in an abroad language in different 6 nations in 2000, namely China, Romania, Thailand, India, Russia, and Vietnam. Looking at the chart, it is clear that Indian pupils were most capable in the second language. Additionally, except for Thailand, female students were better at language than male students in all other countries. Regarding the proportion of male and female students having a gifted in the second language in India were the highest, which was 56%. Followed by Romania, the percentage of male students was the second in the bar chart, at exactly 42%. The rate of Chinese male students proficient in another language was 17%, which was half of that of Russia. The figure for male learners in Vietnam accounted for about 37% of the total Male students while there were roughly 30% male pupils gifted in another language in Thailand. The rate of Indian females proficient in a foreign language was exactly 70% whereas, there were only 27% female students capable in another language in Thailand. The figure for Romanian females proficient in the second language made up about 65%, which was double of China. At the same time, the percentages of female students proficient in another language in Vietnam and Russia were 58% and 43%, respectively.
The bar chart compares the proportions of pupils in terms of capable in an abroad
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language
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
6 nations in 2000,
namely
China, Romania, Thailand, India, Russia, and Vietnam.

Looking at the chart, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that Indian pupils were most capable in the second
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language
.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Thailand,
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were better at
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language
than male
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students
in all other countries.

Regarding the proportion of male and
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female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
having a gifted in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in India were the highest, which was 56%. Followed by Romania, the percentage of male
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students
was the second in the bar chart, at exactly 42%. The rate of Chinese male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proficient
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
was 17%, which was half of that of Russia. The figure for male learners in Vietnam accounted for about 37% of the total Male
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students
while there were roughly 30% male pupils gifted in another
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language
in Thailand.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
rate of Indian
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females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proficient
in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
was exactly 70% whereas, there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
27%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
capable in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in Thailand.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
figure for Romanian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proficient
in the second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
made up about 65%, which was double of China. At the same time, the percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
proficient
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in Vietnam and Russia were 58% and 43%,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic 3. The percentage of students proficient in a foreign language in different countries in 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
220 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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