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the proportion of land degraded

the proportion of land degraded 300Am
In this photographic, there are 2 charts: a pie chart and a bar chart. The pie chart clearly depicts information regarding the proportion of land degraded by 3 particularly cause (de forestation, over-cultivation, and over-grazing), while the table well compare the percentage of degraded land in 3 specific regions (North America, Europe, and Oceania). In the pie chart, it can be noticeable that the amount of land area devastated by over-grazing (35%) is higher than that by other causes. Meanwhile, although there is almost as much land spoiled by deforestation (30%) as they by over-cultivation (28%). Interestingly, the figure of land destroyer by other causes account for the lowest at 7%. In the table, it can be notice that Europe experiences the highest volume of defaced land at 23%, which come from deforestation at 9. 8%, over-cultivation at 7. 7%, and over-grazing (5. 5%). Meanwhile, although there is 13% of corrupted land in Oceania, derived from over-grazing at 11. 3% and deforestation (1. 7%); however, there is on piece of land in this region damaged by over-cultivation. Finally, North America undergoes the largest sum of destructed land at only 5% from over-cultivation at 3. 3%, over-grazing at 15%, and deforestation at 0. 2%.
In this photographic, there are 2
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charts
: a pie
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chart
and a bar
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chart
. The pie
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chart
clearly
depicts information regarding the proportion of
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land
degraded by 3
particularly
cause (
Possible spelling mistake found.
de forestation
, over-cultivation, and over-grazing), while the table well compare the percentage of degraded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
in 3 specific regions (North America, Europe, and Oceania).

In the pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, it can be noticeable that the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
area devastated by over-grazing (35%) is higher than that by other causes. Meanwhile, although there is almost as much
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land
spoiled by
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deforestation
(30%) as they
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by
over-cultivation (28%).
Interestingly
, the figure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
land
destroyer by other causes account for the lowest at 7%.

In the table, it can be notice that Europe experiences the highest volume of defaced
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land
at 23%, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
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deforestation
at 9. 8%, over-cultivation at 7. 7%, and over-grazing (5. 5%). Meanwhile, although there is 13% of corrupted
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land
in Oceania, derived from over-grazing at 11. 3% and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deforestation
(1. 7%);
however
, there is on piece of
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land
in this region damaged by over-cultivation.
Finally
, North America undergoes the largest sum of destructed
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land
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% from over-cultivation at 3. 3%, over-grazing at 15%, and
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deforestation
at 0. 2%.
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IELTS academic the proportion of land degraded

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
203 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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