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the proportion of Families in England and wales that lodging in ownership homes or lease from 1918 to 2011

the proportion of Families in England and wales that lodging in ownership homes or lease from 1918 to 2011 rbERN
This bar graph depicts the proportion of Families in England and wales that lodging in ownership homes or lease from 1918 to 2011. It is clear from the graph that, the figure of families in rented accommodation dropped gradually while the ratio of families that lived in owned housing jumped significantly over the span. As the graph shows, In 1939 and 1953 the number for both categories the lease and owned were steady during a span of around fourteen years by below 70% and just over 30% respectively. regarding to houses rented the rate was the highest in 1918 by less than 70% thereafter it declined significantly to marginally over 30% in 2011. In 1918 the proportion of owned homes was at the lowest point by approximately quarter. Afterward the figure rose to the largest around 70% although at the middle of the period the ratio was steadily in both type from homes by half over ten years. however in 1981 there was slightly increased in the number of households in owned accommodation by 60%. while the figure of households in rented accommodation decreased by 40%.
This bar graph depicts the proportion of Families in England and wales that lodging in ownership homes or lease from 1918 to 2011.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the graph that, the figure of families in rented accommodation dropped
gradually
while the ratio of families that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
housing jumped
significantly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
the span.

As the graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, In 1939 and 1953 the number for both categories the lease and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
were steady during a span of around fourteen years by below 70% and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
30%
respectively
.

The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
rented the rate was the highest in 1918 by less than 70% thereafter it declined
significantly
to
marginally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
30% in 2011. In 1918 the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
homes was at the lowest point by approximately quarter. Afterward the figure rose to the largest around 70%

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
at the middle of the period the ratio was
steadily
in both type from homes by half
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
ten years.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
however
in 1981 there was
slightly
increased in the number of households in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
owned
accommodation by 60%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
the figure of households in rented accommodation decreased by 40%.
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IELTS academic the proportion of Families in England and wales that lodging in ownership homes or lease from 1918 to 2011

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
186 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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