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The process shows ways to make the production of concrete and cement. Select and report the main features of the data

The process shows ways to make the production of concrete and cement. Select and report the main features of the data ELeyx
The supplied diagram process illustrates information in steps to make cement and in percentage to make concrete. Overall, the cement production consists of six stages while the concrete production only consists of three. First of all, the limestone and clay are put together in a crusher in which they will become powder due to the pression. Next, they will go to a mixer where everything will be unified, after that they are taken to a rotating heater, there the mix will spin being flamed by heat. When the mix has finished being heated it will be placed above some grinders where cement will be obtained and finally, they are packed in bags. The following production begins with mixing 15% of cement and adding 10% of water. Subsequently, we will add to the mix 25% of sand and 50% of gravel (which are small stones). This will be placed in a Concrete mixer which will spin to make the mix more unified.
The supplied diagram process illustrates information in steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and in percentage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
concrete.

Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
production consists of six stages while the concrete production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consists of three.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the limestone and clay
are put
together in a crusher in which they will become powder due to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
pression
.
Next
, they will go to a mixer where everything will
be unified
, after that they
are taken
to a rotating heater, there the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mix
will spin
being flamed
by heat. When the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mix
has finished
being heated
it will
be placed
above
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
grinders where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
will
be obtained
and
finally
, they
are packed
in bags.

The following production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with mixing 15% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cement
and adding 10% of water.
Subsequently
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mix
25% of sand and 50% of gravel (which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
stones). This will
be placed
in a Concrete mixer which will spin to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mix
more unified.

IELTS academic The process shows ways to make the production of concrete and cement. Select and report the main features of the data

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
161 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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