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the process of producting smoked fish in small-scale size

the process of producting smoked fish in small-scale size eAawJ
The diagram describes the process of producing smoked fish in small-scale size. There are eight main stages in the process. It begins with cleaning the fish and ends with delivering to consumers. The first stage in this process is cleaning fish with a knife before throwing internal organs and purifying with water. Next, soaking materials in the concentration of salt and water has happened for 30 minutes. Subsequently, cook heats the fish in 5 minutes for deodorizing reasons. After removing the fish, the smoking stage is the next step. It takes 30 minutes for this stage to make fish have the smell of smoke. It can be seen that the producer covers a layer of wood in the bottom and on the top of the element. Prior to packing the product, people would use a kind of material called yellow coloring to beautify the fish. Finally, the smoked fish is collocated in car to deliver to retail outlets.
The diagram
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the process of producing smoked fish in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scale size.

There are eight main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stages
in the process. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
with cleaning the fish and ends with delivering to consumers.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
in this process is cleaning fish with a knife
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
throwing internal organs and purifying with water.
Next
, soaking materials in the concentration of salt and water has happened for 30 minutes.
Subsequently
, cook heats the fish in 5 minutes for deodorizing reasons.

After removing the fish, the smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
is the
next
step. It takes 30 minutes for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stage
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fish have the smell of smoke. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the producer covers a layer of wood in the bottom and on the top of the element. Prior to packing the product,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a kind of material called yellow coloring to beautify the fish.
Finally
, the smoked fish
is collocated
in car to deliver to retail outlets.
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IELTS academic the process of producting smoked fish in small-scale size

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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