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the process of producing a lead pencil

the process of producing a lead pencil 1nLoW
The diagram illustrates the process of producing a lead pencil Generally speaking, lead pencil production involves 9 main steps beginning with growing pine trees and finishing with producing a lead pencil. The process begins when pine trees are cultivated in nurseries before being replanted 4 months after. After 3 years, the plantation is thinned so as to ensure the growth and the quality of wood. Once the trees are 14 years old, they are cut down to make logs to manufacture pencils. After that, those logs are cut into thin slats before being treated. After being dry for 60 days, slat is grooved and stuck to black lead with glue. Following that, an empty slat is placed on the top to form a sandwich before being heated and hard-pressed. In the next step, the slat is cut into pieces to produce individual pencils. The process ends when pencils are painted, sharpened and stamped before being sold at the market.
The diagram illustrates the process of producing a
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lead
pencil

Generally
speaking,
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lead
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pencil
production involves 9 main steps beginning with growing pine trees and finishing with producing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lead
pencil.

The process
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
when pine trees
are cultivated
in nurseries
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before
being replanted
4 months after. After 3 years, the plantation
is thinned
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
ensure the growth and the quality of wood. Once the trees are 14 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
logs to manufacture
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pencils
. After that, those logs are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
into thin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slats
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
being treated
. After being dry for 60 days,
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slat
is grooved
and stuck to black
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lead
with glue. Following that, an empty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slat
is placed
on the top to form a sandwich
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before
being heated
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-pressed. In the
next
step, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
slat
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
into pieces to produce individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pencils
. The process ends when
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pencils
are painted
, sharpened and stamped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
before
being sold
at the market.
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IELTS academic the process of producing a lead pencil

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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