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the process of making jam

the process of making jam 7PEkn
The diagram gives information about the stages in the production of cherry jam. Overall, this jam is made through a nine-stage process, beginning with collecting fruits from the tree and ending with labelling the cherry jam jars for selling. First, a sheet is spread on the ground to get the cherries falling by shaking the tree with a machine. They are collected and transported to the processing plant by a lorry. Then they are carried to an automatic machine to remove the unnecessary parts such as leaves and stems. Next, the cherries are clearly washed and their stones are taken out with metal spikes. In a giant pot, they are cooked with lemon juice, sugar and pectin to make and flavor the jam. After that, the quality of the jam is checked. On a conveyor belt, the jam is mechanically put into jars. Finally, a label is stuck on each jar and the products are ready to be sold.
The diagram gives information about the stages in the production of cherry jam.
Overall
, this jam
is made
through a nine-stage process, beginning with collecting fruits from the tree and ending with labelling the cherry jam jars for selling.

First
, a sheet
is spread
on the ground to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
falling by shaking the tree with a machine. They
are collected
and transported to the processing plant by a lorry. Then they
are carried
to an automatic machine to remove the unnecessary parts such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
and stems.
Next
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cherries
are
clearly
washed and their stones
are taken
out with metal spikes. In a giant pot, they
are cooked
with lemon juice, sugar and pectin to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
and flavor the jam. After that, the quality of the jam is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
. On a conveyor belt, the jam is
mechanically
put into jars.
Finally
, a label
is stuck
on each jar and the products are ready to
be sold
.

IELTS academic the process of making jam

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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