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A glance at the table provided reveals the income of Atlantis City Workforce over ten-yearly intervals from 1985 to 2005

A glance at the table provided reveals the income of Atlantis City Workforce over ten-yearly intervals from 1985 to 2005 0w1OB
A glance at the table provided reveals the income of Atlantis City Workforce over ten-yearly intervals from 1985 to 2005. It is clear that the total population saw a significant growth but the size and the percentage of each group changed considerably. In the income bracket from $15, 000 to 25, 000, there was a massive decline in the percentage, which decreased from 41% in 1985 to 18% in 2005. Following that, the number of workers remained stable for the first decade and then fell by 7000, from 35, 000 to 28, 000. Meanwhile, in terms of $25, 000-40, 000, the Atlantis workers experienced a 20-year period of exponential increase, with the numbers reaching a peak of 64, 000 in 2005. Besides, there was a dramatic climb in the proportion of this figure from 33% to 41%. In a group of $60, 000, the people who worked in Atlantics City Workforce tripled from 6, 200 in 1985 to 19, 500 in 2005 which made up the lowest number. The population percentage of this showed a twofold increase from 7% to 12% over 20 years, although it remains the smallest group in Atlantis City Workforce. The number of workers in the group of $40, 000-60, 000 jumped threefold by 29, 000, from 16, 500 to 45, 000. The proportion of that raised by 10% from 19% in 1985 to 29% in 2005.
A glance at the table provided reveals the income of Atlantis City Workforce over ten-yearly intervals from 1985 to 2005. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the total population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a significant growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the size and the percentage of each
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group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
considerably
.

In the income bracket from $15, 000 to 25, 000, there was a massive decline in the percentage, which decreased from 41% in 1985 to 18% in 2005. Following that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of workers remained stable for the
first
decade and then fell by 7000, from 35, 000 to 28, 000. Meanwhile, in terms of $25, 000-40, 000, the Atlantis workers experienced a 20-year period of exponential increase, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
numbers
reaching a peak of 64, 000 in 2005.
Besides
, there was a dramatic climb in the proportion of this figure from 33% to 41%.

In a
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group
of $60, 000, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who worked in
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Atlantics
City Workforce tripled from 6, 200 in 1985 to 19, 500 in 2005 which made up the lowest
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number
. The population percentage of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a twofold increase from 7% to 12% over 20 years, although it remains the smallest
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group
in Atlantis City Workforce.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of workers in the
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group
of $40, 000-60, 000 jumped threefold by 29, 000, from 16, 500 to 45, 000.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
proportion of that raised by 10% from 19% in 1985 to 29% in 2005.
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IELTS academic A glance at the table provided reveals the income of Atlantis City Workforce over ten-yearly intervals from 1985 to 2005

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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