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Line graph description writing task1

Line graph description writing task1 25emJ
The line graph below illustrates the data about the percentages of the people 65age and over between hundred years period in three different countries. It is clearly seen that the most significant rise is expected to be in Japan and the lowest increase is going to be remarked in the USA by 2040. The population aged 65 and over in the USA and Sweden has almost the same growth by 15%, on the contrary the quantity of elderly people decreased gradually in Japan between 1940and 1980. A rise in population remained steadily in the USA nearly 20 years while the number is picked up approximately by 20% in Sweden. Japan had a constant jump to 10proportion. Looking into the future, a dramatic growth is expected to be in Japan among old population about 27% over the next 2030 and 2040 years. But the figures for Sweden and the USA sees upward a slight lower, at 25% and 23% respectively.
The line graph below illustrates the data about the percentages of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
65age and over between
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
years period in three
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the most significant rise is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and the lowest increase is going to
be remarked
in the USA by 2040. The population aged 65 and over in the USA and Sweden has almost the same growth by 15%,
on the contrary
the quantity of elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decreased
gradually
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
between 1940and 1980. A rise in population remained
steadily
in the USA
nearly
20 years while the number
is picked
up approximately by 20% in Sweden.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
had a constant jump to 10proportion. Looking into the future, a dramatic growth is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
to be in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
population about 27% over the
next
2030 and 2040 years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the figures for Sweden and the USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
upward a slight lower, at 25% and 23%
respectively
.

IELTS academic Line graph description writing task1

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
159 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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