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the popularity of fast food in melbourne

the popularity of fast food in melbourne N31e2
The table illustrates the popularity of five major types of fast food in Melbourne between 2005 and 2021. Furthermore, it makes a prediction as well about the near future. It is clear from the given information, that the figures of every type of fast food increased during the last 16 years, and more growth is predicted (szóismétlés, használj vmi mást pl. : expect)in the next 4 years except for fried rice. The salads had the greatest rise of 10 units between 2005 and our present days, however the figures of noodles climbed by just 2. It is furthermore (már használtad, cseréld ki vmi szinonímára) predicted (ez is szóismétlés pl. project)) that eating salads will have an even steeper growth to 41 units. On the other hand, hamburgers will be remain the most popular type of fast food in Melbourne with 51 units, just as it was with 40 in 2005 and it is nowadays. It is worth mentioning that its popularity fell slightly from 2005 and 2021, while every other types fast food had a smaller or greater increase.
The table illustrates the popularity of five major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in Melbourne between 2005 and 2021.
Furthermore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a prediction
as well
about the near future. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
information, that the figures of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
increased during the last 16 years, and more growth
is predicted
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
szóismétlés
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
használj
Possible spelling mistake found.
vmi
Possible spelling mistake found.
mást
pl.
Loose punctuation mark.
:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
)in the
next
4 years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
fried rice.

The salads had the greatest rise of 10 units between 2005 and our present days,
however
the figures of noodles climbed by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
2. It is
furthermore
(
Possible spelling mistake found.
már
Possible spelling mistake found.
használtad
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
cseréld
Possible spelling mistake found.
ki
Possible spelling mistake found.
vmi
Possible spelling mistake found.
szinonímára
) predicted (
Possible spelling mistake found.
ez
is
Possible spelling mistake found.
szóismétlés
pl. project)
Unpaired symbol: '(' seems to be missing
)
that eating salads will have an even steeper growth to 41 units.

On the other hand
, hamburgers will be
Consider using the past participle "remained"?
remain
the most popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
type
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in Melbourne with 51 units,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as it was with 40 in 2005 and it is nowadays. It is worth mentioning that its popularity fell
slightly
Nonstandard phrase. Did you mean: "from 2005 to 2021"?
from 2005 and 2021
, while every other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
types
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
had a smaller or greater increase.
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IELTS academic the popularity of fast food in melbourne

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
179 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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