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Show the difference between the map of a science park from 2008 till date

Show the difference between the map of a science park from 2008 till date M3156
The maps show how the science park has transformed over the years from 2008 till date. Overall, a few new buildings have erected, whereas some have been renovated, by utilising the empty spaces within the periphery of the park. The former car park which is situated at the centre of the park has been shortened, because the cyber security building now occupies the grassland that was behind it. In addition, the IT centre and the reception are replaced by innovation centre and university hub respectively. Apart from those a few new buildings like Research and development towards north western side, station on the south, bus stop on the east and cycling paths all across the campus are constructed. Moreover, connectivity across the campus has been improved by paving paths, which connects the car park with the station in the south and streches all the way to the university hub in the north.
The maps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how the science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
has transformed over the years from 2008 till date.
Overall
, a few new buildings have erected, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have
been renovated
, by
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
the empty spaces within the periphery of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
. The former car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
which
is situated
at the
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
has
been shortened
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the cyber security building
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
occupies the grassland that was behind it.
In addition
, the IT
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and the reception
are replaced
by innovation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and university hub
respectively
. Apart from those a few new buildings like Research and development towards
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
north western
side, station on the south, bus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
on the east and cycling paths all across the campus
are constructed
.
Moreover
, connectivity across the campus has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by paving paths, which connects the car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
with the station in the south and
Possible spelling mistake found.
streches
all the way to the university hub in the north.
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IELTS academic Show the difference between the map of a science park from 2008 till date

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
152 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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