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The plans below show a student room for two people and a student room for one person at an Australian university.

The plans below show a student room for two people and a student room for one person at an Australian university. Meeo
The blueprint illustrates two types of accommodation for a student at an Australian university. Overall, it is clear that there are more leisure facilities in the room for two students and the room is also bigger. Moreover, its renting cost per student is less expensive than the room for one student. According to the student room for two people is larger, there are more furnishers in the room such as bookshelf, cupboard, table and chairs. But it also gives privacy for each student by separate their bed and desk. The cost for this room type is higher at $350/week, however, this price is for two person. While the student room for one person is $200/week which is more expensive in term of cost per one person because it is more privacy. They do not need to share a bathroom or kitchen area with others so the room is designed to a smaller size but suitable for one person.
The blueprint illustrates two types of accommodation for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
at an Australian university.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are more leisure facilities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
for two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is
also
bigger.
Moreover
, its renting cost per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is less expensive than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
for one student.

According to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
for two
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
larger, there are more
Possible spelling mistake found.
furnishers
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
such as bookshelf, cupboard, table and chairs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
also
gives privacy for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
by separate their bed and desk. The cost for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
type is higher at $350/week,
however
, this price is for two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'person' seems to be countable, so consider using: "people", "persons".
person
.

While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
for one person is $200/week which is more expensive in term of cost per one person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is more privacy. They do not need to share a bathroom or kitchen area with others
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
is designed
to a smaller size
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
suitable for one person.

IELTS academic The plans below show a student room for two people and a student room for one person at an Australian university.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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