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The plans below show a public park

The plans below show a public park 9rW6W
The maps represents the changes of garage public park. it is first opened in 1920 to today. Overall, it is apparently seen that, fountain was replaced by rose garden with seats around it. Today garage park also added cafe, amphitheatre, water feature and underground car park. To begin with, in the upside and downside there is two entrance which is remained unchanged from 1920 to today. In addition, stage for musicians was dramatically convert into big amphitheatre for concert in today. Also, in 1920 seats and three rose garden situated in different areas but today rose garden located in middle part of the park with four seats around it. Furthermore, in begining of period fountain lied in central part in the park. Likewise, in 1920 pond for water plants were renovated into children's play area in today. In today park added cafe and provided entrance underground car park service for park visitor. After That, in 1920 glasshouse convert into water feature in today.
The maps
You should probably use "represent".
represents
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of garage public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
first
opened in 1920 to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

Overall
, it is
apparently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, fountain
was replaced
by rose garden with seats around it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Today
garage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatre' is British English.
amphitheatre
, water feature and underground car park.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, in the upside and downside there is two entrance which
is remained
unchanged from 1920 to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
.
In addition
, stage for musicians was
dramatically
Consider using a past participle here: "converted".
convert
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake. 'amphitheatre' is British English.
amphitheatre
for concert in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
.
Also
, in 1920 seats and three rose garden situated in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
rose garden located in middle part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
with four seats around it.

Furthermore
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
begining
of period fountain lied in central part in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
.
Likewise
, in 1920 pond for water plants
were renovated
into children's play area in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
'cafe' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "café"
cafe
and provided entrance underground car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
service for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
visitor. After That, in 1920 glasshouse convert into water feature in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
today
.
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IELTS academic The plans below show a public park

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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