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The bar chart illustrates the number of men and women who have participated in the Olympics across four years while the line graph shows the total number of participations irrespective of gender in the same time frame.

The bar chart illustrates the number of men and women who have participated in the Olympics across four years while the line graph shows the total number of participations irrespective of gender in the same time frame. PWNXK
Overall, it is clear that the number of male participants outnumbered the females throughout the given period. A dramatic increase in female Olympians was evident in the year 2012, thus making it the year with the highest number of participants. In terms of gender, the figure for the participation of men in the year Olympics began was 3000 as opposed to just a few hundreds for women. In 1952, the amount of male Olympians exceeded that of females by 4000. The participations of men and women in the 1984 Olympics was just above 5000 and approximately 1500 respectively. The number of male entries in the game increased steadily and hit a high of nearly 6000 in the year 2012 while the participation of females skyrocketed to almost 5000 in the same year. On the other hand, the overall entries in Olympics regardless of sexes experienced an upward trajectory across the given period. The game started off with just about 3500 participants and the number of entries grew steadily in the year 1952 and 1984 with approximately 10, 500 participants collectively. The number of entries in 2012 alone soared at just over 10, 000.
Overall
, it is
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clear
that the
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number
of male participants outnumbered the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
throughout the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. A dramatic increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
Olympians was evident in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2012,
thus
making it the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with the highest
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number
of participants.

In terms of gender, the figure for the participation of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
Olympics began was 3000 as opposed to
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just
a few hundreds for women. In 1952, the amount of male Olympians exceeded that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
by 4000. The
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participations
of
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men
and women in the 1984 Olympics was
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just
above 5000 and approximately 1500
respectively
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entries
in the game increased
steadily
and hit a high of
nearly
6000 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2012 while the participation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
skyrocketed to almost 5000 in the same year.

On the other hand
, the
overall
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entries
in Olympics regardless of sexes experienced an upward trajectory across the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. The game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
off with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
about 3500 participants and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entries
grew
steadily
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
1952 and 1984 with approximately 10, 500 participants
collectively
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
entries
in 2012 alone soared at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10, 000.
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IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the number of men and women who have participated in the Olympics across four years while the line graph shows the total number of participations irrespective of gender in the same time frame.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
193 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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