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Energy production fro different categories

Energy production fro different categories D2Oaa
The information reflects the proportion of energy produce from numerous sources in a nation from 18 year of span is depicted by pic chart. The data has been calibrated in percentage Overall, it is vividly manifested that a large number of oil used to produce energy in both the span while only 4% of hydrogen used to produce energy. To begin with, there was dramatic increase detected in coal to produce energy as compared to previous year, it comprised to 8% in 1985 which increase up to 5% till 2003. Moreover, hydrogen was used to produce a tiny amount of energy and stable in both the year it is accounted to 4% in both the span. Furthermore, the use to nature gas to produce energy increased from 13% to 23% by 2003, whereas nuclear power used to produce 23% of power which was climb down to 6% till 2003. Interestingly, from 1985 to 2003 oil was a main substance to produce large number of power. although, the proportion of oil use to generate energy were go down and comprised to 39% in 2003 respectively.
The information reflects the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
from numerous sources in a nation from 18 year of span
is depicted
by pic chart. The data has
been calibrated
in
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
percentage


Overall
, it is
vividly
manifested that
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in both the span while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
4% of hydrogen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
energy.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there was dramatic increase detected in coal to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
as compared to previous year, it comprised to 8% in 1985 which increase up to 5% till 2003.
Moreover
, hydrogen was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
a tiny amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and stable in both the year it
is accounted
to 4% in both the span.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to nature gas to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
increased from 13% to 23% by 2003, whereas nuclear power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
23% of power which was climb down to 6% till 2003.
Interestingly
, from 1985 to 2003 oil was a main substance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
produce
large number of power.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
although
, the proportion of oil
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
generate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
Consider using a past participle here: "gone".
go
down and comprised to 39% in 2003
respectively
.
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IELTS academic Energy production fro different categories

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
184 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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