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The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate. oyjw
the pie charts illistrate the percentage of children activities according to their gender, this information is a result of a survey conducted. overall, it is shown that boys' cultural and leisure activities are different from girls. though there are few activities which are common between two genders. the first chart which shows boys' activities in free time, illistrates that most boys spend their time on computer games while according to second chart, only sixteen percent of girls spend their pair time on computer games and most of them prefer dancing which includes twenty seven percent of girls. the first chart shows that many boys are willing to do sports than other steady activities like reading. as we see, twenty six percent play basketball, seventy percent play soccer and eleven percent go skateboarding. according to second chart about girls' activities, after dancing, twenty one percent of girls spend their time on reading books and non-sporty activities like computer games. the rate of reading in pair tim edevoted for girls are far more than boys, and it is understood that only a few boys devote time on reading which is just two percent of them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
pie
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charts
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illistrate
the percentage of children
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activities
according to their gender, this information is a result of a survey conducted.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, it
is shown
that boys' cultural and leisure
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activities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from
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girls
.
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though
there are few
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activities
which are common between two genders.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
first
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chart
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
boys'
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activities
in free
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time
,
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illistrates
that most
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boys
spend their
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time
on computer games while according to second
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chart
,
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only
sixteen
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percent
of
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girls
spend their pair
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time
on computer games and most of them prefer dancing which includes
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty seven
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percent
of
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girls
.
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the
first
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chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
are willing to do sports than other steady
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activities
like
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reading
.
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as
we
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see
,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty six
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percent
play basketball, seventy
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percent
play soccer and eleven
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percent
go skateboarding.
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according
to second
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chart
about girls'
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activities
, after dancing,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty one
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percent
of
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girls
spend their
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time
on
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reading
books and non-sporty
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activities
like computer games.
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the
rate of
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reading
in pair
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tim edevoted
for
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girls
are far more than
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boys
, and it
is understood
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
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boys
devote
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time
on
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reading
which is
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just
two
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percent
of them.
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IELTS academic The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
193 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The pie graphs below show the result of a survey of children's activities. The first graph shows the cultural and leisure activities that boys participate in, whereas the second graph shows the activities in which the girls participate.