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The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000. men1
The line graph compares quantity of parcels which was delivered by two big mail services companies, namely by Federal Express and TNT Mail Services during the 80 years from 1920 to 2000. Overall, it can be seen from this graph that although there was a fluctuation for each of these, both of the increased markedly at the end of the graph. Move to more detailed analysis from this graph that in 1920 the number of parcels delivered by Federal Express was 15000 while TNT only delivered approximately 5000 parcels. From 1920 to 1940, FedEx company rose dramatically fast and increased to almost 25000 parcels in 1940 and TNT Mail Services grow marginally too. However, their upward trend was not as much as FedEx, only rose steadily from 5000parcels in 1920 to over 10000 in 1960. After enormous growth, FedEx suddenly had a little more than 12000 parcels delivered in 1950, it was quicker drop than 1940. Subsequently, after TNT company's rise, it went down slightly to just over 10000 in 1970. In contrast, at that time the number of FedEx's delivered parcels climbed significantly. In the next four years the amount of TNT always increased, namely there was a small rise in the first year. 1980 to 2000 witnessed sharp increase in delivered packages. During this period the value of delivered parcels by FedEx went up rapidly between 1960 and 1980 and there was a bit fall at the end of graph.
The line
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graph
compares quantity of
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parcels
which
was delivered
by two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
mail services
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
namely
by Federal Express and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
Mail Services during the 80 years from 1920 to 2000.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
that although there was a fluctuation for each of these, both of the increased
markedly
at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the graph.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Move
to more detailed analysis from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
that in 1920 the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parcels
delivered by Federal Express was 15000 while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
delivered approximately 5000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parcels
. From 1920 to 1940, FedEx
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
rose
dramatically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and increased to almost 25000
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parcels
in 1940 and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
Mail Services grow
marginally
too.
However
, their upward trend was not as much as FedEx,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
rose
steadily
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
5000parcels
in 1920 to over 10000 in 1960. After enormous growth, FedEx
suddenly
had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
more than 12000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parcels
delivered in 1950, it was quicker drop than 1940.

Subsequently
, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's rise, it went down
slightly
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10000 in 1970.
In contrast
, at that time the number of FedEx's delivered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parcels
climbed
significantly
. In the
next
four years the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TNT
always increased,
namely
there was a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
rise in the
first
year. 1980 to 2000 witnessed sharp increase in delivered packages. During this period the value of delivered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parcels
by FedEx went up
rapidly
between 1960 and 1980 and there was a
It seems that there's a missing preposition after ''.
bit
fall at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graph
.
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IELTS academic The diagram below gives information about the number of parcels delivered by two major mail services companies from 1920 to 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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