Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors

The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors NaeN
The given pie graph demonstrates the percentage of people graduating from Brighton University in 2019 who choose various job sectors. Overall, it can be seen that service industries were the most popular sectors among Brighton graduates in 2019, whilst the sport sector almost never is preferred. When looking at the pie graph in detail the great proportion of students choose service industries with 33%. The manufacturing industry was the second popular job segment at 16. 3%, which was half as popular as service industries. The manufacturing industry is followed by education and politics & government career options, 14, 7 % and 12, 1% respectively. Transportation and warehousing were preferred at an almost equal rate as science & technology which were 7, 8% and 7, 3%. On the other hand, sport and charity were the least chosen career area with merely 0. 1% and 0. 3%. The remaining 2. 8% commence work in other sectors.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie graph demonstrates the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
graduating from Brighton University in 2019 who choose various job sectors.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
were the most popular sectors among Brighton graduates in 2019, whilst the sport sector almost never
is preferred
.

“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
looking at the pie graph in detail the great proportion of students choose service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
with 33%. The manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
was the second popular job segment at 16. 3%, which was half as popular as service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
. The manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is followed
by education and politics &
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
career options, 14, 7 % and 12, 1%
respectively
. Transportation and warehousing
were preferred
at an almost equal rate as science & technology which were 7, 8% and 7, 3%.

On the other hand
, sport and charity were the least chosen career area with
merely
0. 1% and 0. 3%. The remaining 2. 8% commence work in other sectors.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
154 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The chart below shows the proportions of graduates from Brighton University in 2019 entering different employment sectors