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the diagram below shows information about quarterely profit for three companies of united states from 2005 to 2007

the diagram below shows information about quarterely profit for three companies of united states from 2005 to 2007 knBW
the line graph depicts the information about quarterly profit in three companies of US namely microsoft, IBM, apple during 2005 to 2007. All embracing, microsoft companies took more profit as compare to other arganisations over the given time period expect 2007. To embark with, the microsoft company, in 2005 it took $2. 8 billion in quarter one and increased by $1 billion in quarter two and after this was doomed and become its initial position in quarter 3 again it was rose to just above three million dollars and this showed zig zag motion till end and the profit was accounted with $3. 5 billion. IBM company take $0. 5 billion in first quarter during 2005 and this profit was inclined over the period in all quarters and hit its peak point. Moving towards the further information, the organisation of apple took $0. 8 billion in quarter one during the initial year and this profit showed fluctuated trend and reached at $2. 5 billion in quarter 4 during 2007
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the
line graph depicts the information about quarterly
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profit
in three
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companies
of US
namely
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microsoft
, IBM, apple during 2005 to 2007. All embracing,
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microsoft
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companies
took more
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profit
as compare to other
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arganisations
over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
time period
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expect
2007. To embark with, the
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microsoft
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company
, in 2005 it took $2. 8
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billion
in
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quarter
one and increased by $1
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billion
in
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quarter
two and after this
was doomed
and become its initial position in
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quarter
3 again it was rose to
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just
above three million dollars and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This word is normally spelled as one.
zig zag
motion till
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end
and the
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profit
was accounted
with $3. 5
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billion
. IBM
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company
take $0. 5
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billion
in
first
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quarter
during 2005 and this
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profit
was inclined
over the period in all
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quarters
and hit its peak point. Moving towards the
further
information, the
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organisation
of apple took $0. 8
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billion
in
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quarter
one during the initial year and this
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profit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
fluctuated trend and reached at $2. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
billion
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quarter
4 during 2007

IELTS academic the diagram below shows information about quarterely profit for three companies of united states from 2005 to 2007

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
168 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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