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The pie charts provide some information about the percentage usage of energy.

The pie charts provide some information about the percentage usage of energy and its impact on Australia's greenhouse gases. The first one compares five reasons for using power and the second one is about gas emissions related to them. Overall, most energy usage accounts for water heating and heating based on present information and produces more greenhouse gas emissions. On the one hand, in the first pie chart, the highest usage energy rate is accounted for heating with 42%, following that water heating with no significant differences, 30%, has a second rate. The percentage of other appliances is approximately twice as high as refrigeration, with 15% and 7%, respectively. Moreover, lighting and cooling with 4 and 2 percent have been ranked as the least energy use ones. The second pie chart provides the proportion of greenhouse gas emissions which is have been produced by these cases. The most emissions are related to using water heating with 32% and a few less in other appliances with 28%. It is noticeable that there are no significant differences between refrigeration and heating usage, 14% and 15%, respectively. The remaining figures are related to cooling and lighting, responsible for nearly 10 and 5 percent of emissions.
The pie charts provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about the percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of
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energy
and its impact on Australia's greenhouse gases. The
first
one compares five reasons for using power and the second one is about gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
related to them.

Overall
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
accounts for water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
based on present information and produces more greenhouse gas emissions.

On the one hand, in the
first
pie chart, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
rate
is accounted
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
with 42%, following that water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
with no significant differences, 30%, has a second rate. The percentage of other appliances is approximately twice as high as refrigeration, with 15% and 7%,
respectively
.
Moreover
, lighting and cooling with 4 and 2 percent have
been ranked
as the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
ones.

The second pie chart provides the proportion of greenhouse gas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
which is
Consider using either the past participle “had” or the present participle “having” here.
have
been produced
by these cases. The most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
are related
to using water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
with 32% and a few less in other appliances with 28%. It is noticeable that there are no significant differences between refrigeration and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
, 14% and 15%,
respectively
. The remaining figures
are related
to cooling and lighting, responsible for
nearly
10 and 5 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emissions
.
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IELTS academic The pie charts provide some information about the percentage usage of energy.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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