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The pie charts illustrates the main reasons of migration to UK in 2007

The pie charts illustrates the main reasons of migration to UK in 2007 G9YwL
The information regarding the causative factors responsible for the shifting of commoners to and from UK in year 2007 is represented by the supplied pic charts. Having an overview, it is crystal clear that main reason for emigrating and immigrating is for a definite job. After having a myopic observation, it is identified that a negligible difference of 17% can be noticed among employment opportunities in UK, value of immigrants and emigrants is 30% and 29%. orderly; However, The commoners that leave UK because of no reason is three fold of theimmigrants; whereas, there is a huge difference of 22% observed among the emigrants (4%) and immigrants (22%) due to formal study. On further analysis, the percentum of individuals shift to UK for a job (12%) is less than the people leaving out the nation (22%). Moreover, those who come to accompany others in Uk has a ratio of 15%, which is merely high unlike emigrants. Furthermore, the percentage of immigrants and emigrants that migrate to UK for other reasons had a proportion of 11% and 14% respectively.
The information regarding the causative factors responsible for the shifting of commoners to and from UK in year 2007
is represented
by the supplied pic charts.

Having an overview, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that main reason for emigrating and immigrating is for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
job.

After having a myopic observation, it
is identified
that a negligible difference of 17% can
be noticed
among employment opportunities in UK, value of immigrants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emigrants
is 30% and 29%.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
orderly
;
However
, The commoners that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
UK
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of no reason is
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
three fold
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
theimmigrants
; whereas, there is a huge difference of 22% observed among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emigrants
(4%) and immigrants (22%) due to formal study. On
further
analysis, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
percentum
of individuals shift to UK for a job (12%) is less than the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
leaving out the nation (22%).
Moreover
, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to accompany others in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Uk
has a ratio of 15%, which is
merely
high unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emigrants
.
Furthermore
, the percentage of immigrants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
emigrants
that migrate to UK for other reasons had a proportion of 11% and 14%
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrates the main reasons of migration to UK in 2007

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
178 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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