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The pie charts illustrate the usage of water for three purposes in San Diego, California, and the rest of the world.

The pie charts illustrate the usage of water for three purposes in San Diego, California, and the rest of the world. 73MDX
The pie charts illustrate the usage of water for three purposes in San Diego, California, and the rest of the world. Overall, it is clearly evident that the proportion of water used for residential in San Diego and Califonia makes up the biggest while agriculture records the highest water usage in the whole world. In San Diego, the vast majority of water is used for residential purpose, at 60%, while industry and agriculture only make up a small proportion, at 23% and 17% respectively. The same figure could be seen in California, with the residential share account for 39%, but the agriculture is only 28% and that of industry only make up for 33%. In contrast, argriculture make up the largest proportion in the whole world, at 69% but the residential use just makes up for 8%, and the figure for industry is only 23%.
The pie charts illustrate the usage of
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water
for three purposes in San Diego, California, and the rest of the world.

Overall
, it is
clearly
evident that the proportion of
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
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residential
in San Diego and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Califonia
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makes
up the biggest while agriculture records the highest
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water
usage in the whole world.

In San Diego, the vast majority of
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water
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
purpose, at 60%, while industry and agriculture
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only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
up a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
proportion, at 23% and 17%
respectively
. The same figure could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in California, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
share account for 39%,
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but
the agriculture is
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only
28% and that of industry
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only
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make
up for 33%.

In contrast
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
argriculture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
up the largest proportion in the whole world, at 69%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
residential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
up for 8%, and the figure for industry is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
23%.
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrate the usage of water for three purposes in San Diego, California, and the rest of the world.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
145 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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