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The bar chart illustrates the number of graduate and postgraduate students reaching four different destinations except for full-time work after leaving college in the UK in 2008.

The bar chart illustrates the number of graduate and postgraduate students reaching four different destinations except for full-time work after leaving college in the UK in 2008. m3qoL
The bar chart illustrates the number of graduate and postgraduate students reaching four different destinations except for full-time work after leaving college in the UK in 2008. Overall, it can be seen there were many more graduates than postgraduates choosing each destination. It’s noticeable that study higher is the most popular for both groups. As regards graduate students, the number of people choosing further study was highest, at just under 30. 000, followed by the figures for part time work and unemployment with 17735 and 16235 respectively. With respect to postgraduate students, there were 2725 of students reaching study higher and the figure for part-time work was lower at 2525. The number of voluntary and unemployed student was ten times as low as that of graduate in the same same categories, at 345 students and 1, 625 students correspondingly.
The bar chart illustrates the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
and postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
reaching four
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
destinations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
full-time work after leaving college in the UK in 2008.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
than postgraduates choosing each destination. It’s noticeable that study higher is the most popular for both groups.

As regards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choosing
further
study was highest, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
under 30. 000, followed by the figures for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
work and unemployment with 17735 and 16235
respectively
.

With respect to postgraduate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, there were 2725 of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
reaching study higher and the figure for part-time work was lower at 2525. The number of voluntary and unemployed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
was ten times as low as that of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
in the
Possible typo: you repeated a word
same same
categories, at 345
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and 1, 625
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
correspondingly
.

IELTS academic The bar chart illustrates the number of graduate and postgraduate students reaching four different destinations except for full-time work after leaving college in the UK in 2008.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
139 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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