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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of men and women employed in three distinct industries in two different nations in 2007.

The pie charts illustrate the proportion of men and women employed in three distinct industries in two different nations in 2007. 3brnl
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of men and women employed in three distinct industries in two different nations in 2007. Overall, it can be seen that the percentages of all three sectors in country A were quite similar in both genders while there were differences in country B. In nation A, however, there were few distinctions in services and agriculture, the ratio of both sexes in three industries was approximate each other especially industry sectors had exactly the same amount. The proportion of males working in the service field was slightly higher than that of females while agriculture was in contrast. On the other hand, the percentages in the three sectors were significantly different, in which service industry took the highest proportion accounting for three forth on average in total, especially in females. Following service sector, agriculture field stood at the second place with the amount of men was almost triple that of women. Lastly, the industrial had the least amount in both genders which was negligible in females.
The pie charts illustrate the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women employed in three distinct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
in two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
nations in 2007.

Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the percentages of all three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
in country A were quite similar in both genders while there were differences in country B.

In nation A,
however
, there were few distinctions in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and agriculture, the ratio of both sexes in three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
was approximate each other
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
had exactly the same amount. The proportion of males working in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
field was
slightly
higher than that of females while agriculture was
in contrast
.

On the other hand
, the percentages in the three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
were
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
took the highest proportion accounting for three forth on average in total,
especially
in females. Following
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
service
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
, agriculture field stood at the second place with the amount of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
was almost triple that of women.
Lastly
, the industrial had the least amount in both genders which was negligible in females.

IELTS academic The pie charts illustrate the proportion of men and women employed in three distinct industries in two different nations in 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
170 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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