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13 year old student chose which language to study

13 year old student chose which language to study lLap1
The line graph provides a breakdown of information in terms of how many junior high school students attended two different language centers, French and Mandarin, in The United Kingdom between 2000 and present. It was measured in the number of students. Overall, that what stands out in the line graph examines that the number of schoolchildren joining at French language center has decreased significantly in the end of the period. However, the figure for pupils in Mandarin language center had negatively correlated trend. The number of students learning French had a considerable decline between 2000 and 2004 from 150 to 90 students, a drop of 60 schoolchildren, although a rise of approximately 85 pupils was recorded by Mandarin language option. In 2005, the figure for students in French class plumed to the lowest total, while Mandarin had by far the greatest number of students. Interestingly, when the total of students in Mandarin course peaked at around 78 participants, students in French language hit a low point of only 90 students. Between 2006 and 2009, students of Mandarin language remained virtually changes, while French’s students had a downward trend. Moreover, both figures have been leveling off from 2010 to present.
The line graph provides a breakdown of information in terms of how
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many
junior high school
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students
attended two
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different
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language
centers, French and Mandarin, in The United Kingdom between 2000 and present. It
was measured
in the
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number
of students.

Overall
, that what stands out in the line graph examines that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of schoolchildren joining at French
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language
center has decreased
significantly
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.
However
, the figure for pupils in Mandarin
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language
center had
negatively
correlated trend.

The
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number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning French had a considerable decline between 2000 and 2004 from 150 to 90
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students
, a drop of 60 schoolchildren, although a rise of approximately 85 pupils
was recorded
by Mandarin
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language
option. In 2005, the figure for
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students
in French
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
plumed to the lowest total, while Mandarin had by far the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of students.

Interestingly
, when the total of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in Mandarin course peaked at around 78 participants,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in French
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
hit a low point of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
90
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students
. Between 2006 and 2009,
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students
of Mandarin
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language
remained
virtually
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changes
, while French’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had a downward trend.
Moreover
, both figures have been leveling off from 2010 to present.

IELTS academic 13 year old student chose which language to study

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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