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The graph below shows the enrollments of overseas student and local student increase in Australian Universities between 1989 and 1999.

The graph below shows the enrollments of overseas student and local student increase in Australian Universities between 1989 and 1999. yGxK3
The line graph illustrates the enrollment of overseas students and local students' increase in Australian Universities between 1989 and 1999. To begin with, overseas students starting to enroll in universities in 1989. In the commencing period, 10, 000 overseas students took the opportunity to study abroad, which was improved drastically for the overseas students and the university. It had beneficial for every university. Furthermore, the total number of students abroad, which was increased drastically, the total student of a year. From 1990 to 1999, the total number of candidates who going abroad for study. total 80, 000 students to make an opportunity, which has doubled than the starting enrollment of students. However, the local students of the Australian Universities where about 180, 000 students were in commencing period in 1989. After this scale fluctuated between 10 years period. The local students' enrollment was slightly improved between 2 decades which was almost 200, 000. The last year, the local student's enrollment in universities was about 200, 000 students which have the same as the first admission in 1989 which was almost 400, 000 and after that, it is increased drastically, and last four decades, it was maintained. Overall, the total number of students were more increased between 10 decades. The local student's rate has decreased more than the overseas.
The line graph illustrates the
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enrollment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
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local
students' increase in Australian
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Universities
between 1989 and 1999. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
starting to enroll in
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universities
in 1989. In the commencing period, 10, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
took the opportunity to study abroad, which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
drastically
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the
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university
. It had beneficial for every
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university
.
Furthermore
, the
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total
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
abroad, which
was increased
drastically
, the
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total
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student
of a year. From 1990 to 1999, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
number of candidates who going abroad for study.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
total
80, 000
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students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an opportunity, which has doubled than the starting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollment
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of the Australian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Universities
where about 180, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were in commencing period in 1989.
“After” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
After
this scale fluctuated between 10 years period. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollment
was
slightly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
between 2 decades which was almost 200, 000. The last year, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
student's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enrollment
in
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universities
was about 200, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
which have the same as the
first
admission in 1989 which was almost 400, 000 and after that, it
is increased
drastically
, and last four decades, it
was maintained
.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were more increased between 10 decades. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
student's rate has decreased more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
.
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IELTS academic The graph below shows the enrollments of overseas student and local student increase in Australian Universities between 1989 and 1999.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
218 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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