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The table illustrates quantity of a 20-year and reasons to join the art exhibitions.

The table illustrates quantity of a 20-year and reasons to join the art exhibitions. 9awoj
The table illustrates quantity of a 20-year and reasons to join the art exhibitions. overall, it is noticeable that the most rationale in every era is attending the arts is desire to see specific performer and the trend of joining the art exhibition is increased. While, the trend of special occasion is plumet The table also demonstrates that the number of UK citizens is rised from 9 to 24 and from 6 to 11 in 20 years which reason are accompanying children and business respectively. On the other hand, the proportion of UK adults is decreased from 27 to 9 in the 20-year period. The interesting is the number of people who attend arts which reason is desire to see specific artist are likely stable; in addition, the amount in 20 years ago was 58, in 10 years ago is 55 and these days is 56, so it changes a little bit in the 20-year period.
The table illustrates quantity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
20-year
and reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
exhibitions.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
overall
, it is noticeable that the most rationale in every era is attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
specific performer and the trend of joining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
exhibition
is increased
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, the trend of special occasion is
Possible spelling mistake found.
plumet


The table
also
demonstrates that the number of UK citizens is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "rose", the past tense form of the verb 'rise'?
rised
from 9 to 24 and from 6 to 11 in 20 years which reason are accompanying children and business
respectively
.
On the other hand
, the proportion of UK adults
is decreased
from 27 to 9 in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
20-year
period.

The interesting is the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
which reason is desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
specific artist are likely stable;
in addition
, the amount in 20 years ago was 58, in 10 years ago is 55 and these days is 56,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
20-year
period.

IELTS academic The table illustrates quantity of a 20-year and reasons to join the art exhibitions.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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