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The pie charts illustrate how much money was spent and received by a children’s charity in the USA in 2016.

The pie charts illustrate how much money was spent and received by a children’s charity in the USA in 2016. q1BL5
The pie charts illustrate how much money was spent and received by a children’s charity in the USA in 2016. Overall, it is obvious that the majority of revenue sources came from donated food, whilst most money of the expenditures was used for program services. Total revenue was slightly higher than total expenditures. (clear ) According to the left chart, donated food accounted for the highest proportion in the revenue sources at 86. 6%, which was over 8 times as much as community contributions. This was followed by program revenue with 2. 2%. The lowest sources of income were investment income and government grants, which made up 0. 4% and 0. 2%, respectively. In addition, the other income was the same as the figure of investment. Turning to the right chart, most of the income was spent for program services with nearly 95% of total. Besides, fundraising, management and general accounted for the remains, which were 2. 6% and 1. 6%, respectively. It can be seen that the total revenue sources was $53, 561, 580, which was enough for the expenditures with $53, 224, 896.
The pie charts illustrate how much money
was spent
and received by a children’s charity in the USA in 2016.

Overall
, it is obvious that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
came from donated food, whilst most money of the expenditures was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for program services.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
was
slightly
higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
expenditures. (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)


According to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
chart, donated food accounted for the highest proportion in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
at 86. 6%, which was over 8 times as much as community contributions. This
was followed
by program
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
with 2. 2%. The lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
were investment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
grants, which made up 0. 4% and 0. 2%,
respectively
.
In addition
, the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
was the same as the figure of investment.

Turning to the right chart, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
was spent
for program services with
nearly
95% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
.
Besides
, fundraising, management and general accounted for the remains, which were 2. 6% and 1. 6%,
respectively
. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
revenue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
was $53, 561, 580, which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for the expenditures with $53, 224, 896.
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IELTS academic The pie charts illustrate how much money was spent and received by a children’s charity in the USA in 2016.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
185 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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