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The pie charts depict the amplitudes of main sources of energy in the United States and to selected years 1980 and 1990.

The pie charts depict the amplitudes of main sources of energy in the United States and to selected years 1980 and 1990. 0lAN9
Focusing on oil and natural gas, first, large amount of oil used in your 1980 and eight drop by 11 % over a decade, 26 percentage of natural gas used in 1980 and slightly changed over 10 years and stopped at 25 %. However over a decade both energy sources were declined in 1990. Moreover, as other sources of power, the proportion of coal consumption Rose from 22% to 27%. Similarly clear energy usage increased over a decade, from 5 % to 10%. Meanwhile, the figure of hydroelectric power remain constant at 5 percentage. As per the given pie chart, it is clearly seen that over a decade almost all energy sources consumption were fluctuated. Overall, it is clearly seen that the maximum proportion of oil used as main source of energy in both year.
Focusing on oil and natural gas,
first
, large amount of oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in your 1980 and eight
Possible agreement error. The noun 'drop' seems to be countable, so consider using: "drops".
drop
by 11 %
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a decade, 26 percentage of natural gas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in 1980 and
slightly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
10 years and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
at 25 %.
However
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a decade both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
were declined
in 1990.

Moreover
, as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
of power, the proportion of coal consumption Rose from 22% to 27%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Similarly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
usage increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a decade, from 5 % to 10%. Meanwhile, the figure of hydroelectric power remain constant at 5 percentage. As per the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pie chart, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
over
a decade almost all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
consumption
were fluctuated
.

Overall
, it is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the maximum proportion of oil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in both year.
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IELTS academic The pie charts depict the amplitudes of main sources of energy in the United States and to selected years 1980 and 1990.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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