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The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. E3LQD
The both pie charts beneath illustrate the online shopping sales for four types of retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010. As meticulously mentioned in the charts, sales of video games contributed least sales in online shopping, while, electronic and appliances was the significant sales sector. In comparison, food and beverages became largest sales section and home furnishings was the lowest sales margin. Firstly, video games sales accounted 18% in 2005 year. However, it experienced five-fold improvement to 23% in 2010 year. In the same vein, food and beverages section was consists of 22% in 2005 and it gradually rose to ten-fold growth means 32% highest sales of 2010 year. On the contrary, electronic and appliances sector had remarkable sales approximately 35% in 2005. However, it fell to 30% in 2010. Besides, home furnishings reported second major sales section around 25% in 2005 and it astonishingly dropped to 15% in 2010 year. To conclude, video games and food and beverage sales obtain mass growth threw online. On the contrary, electronic appliances as well as home furnishings sold out extremely low in online.
The both pie charts beneath illustrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
for four types of retail sectors in Canada in 2005 and 2010.

As
meticulously
mentioned in the charts,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of video games contributed least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping, while, electronic and appliances was the significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
sector.
In comparison
, food and beverages became
A determiner is probably missing here: "the largest".
largest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
section and home furnishings was the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
margin.

Firstly
, video games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
accounted 18% in 2005 year.
However
, it experienced five-fold improvement to 23% in 2010 year. In the same vein, food and beverages section was consists of 22% in 2005 and it
gradually
rose to ten-fold growth means 32%
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
of 2010 year.

On the contrary
, electronic and appliances sector had remarkable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
approximately 35% in 2005.
However
, it fell to 30% in 2010.
Besides
, home furnishings reported second major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
section around 25% in 2005 and it
astonishingly
dropped to 15% in 2010 year.

To conclude
, video games and food and beverage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
obtain mass growth threw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
On the contrary
, electronic appliances
as well
as home furnishings sold out
extremely
low in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
.
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
183 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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