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The tabular chart illustrates the ratio of expenses spent on four common products in the UK in 1998

The tabular chart illustrates the ratio of expenses spent on four common products in the UK in 1998 wa2JE
Overall, The highest expenses was spent on food and music as compared to other two items. Looking at the details, Adults spent 25%of income for food, Where as men spent 14% and highest ratio of income on food is spent by women with 39% children, boys, and girls spent almost same proportion of income for food which was 10%, 9%, and 11% respectively. Moreover, adults payedout 5% of their earning for electronic equipment. Whereas, men payed 10% of income for electronic devices. Only 1% of expenses was spent by women for electronic equipment. But, children lay out 23 % of salary for electronic products and 18% and 5% was layedout by boys and girlsMoving further, Wages dispurse for music was 5% by adults, men's, and women. Moreover, the portion of salary use up for music by children and boys was approximately similar 39% and 38% respectively. And girls expend highest pay for music which was 40%. Furthermore, adults use up only 1%and men 2% bit of salary for video. While, women occupy 0. 5% wages for video. However, children take up 12% of stipped for video and 18% of wages was disburse by boys and 17% by girls for video
Overall
, The highest expenses was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on
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food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as compared to other two items. Looking at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
,
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Adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
25%of
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income
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
,
Did you mean "Whereas"?
Where as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
14% and highest ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by
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women
with 39%
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
, and girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
almost same proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which was 10%, 9%, and 11%
respectively
.
Moreover
,
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adults
Possible spelling mistake found.
payedout
5% of their earning for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
equipment. Whereas,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
Only in a nautical context 'payed' is an acceptable past tense form of 'pay'. Please check!
payed
10% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
devices.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
1% of expenses was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
equipment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lay out 23 % of salary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
products and 18% and 5% was
Possible spelling mistake found.
layedout
by
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boys
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
girlsMoving
further
, Wages
Possible spelling mistake found.
dispurse
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
was 5% by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
's, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Moreover
, the portion of salary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
up for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
was approximately similar 39% and 38%
respectively
. And girls expend
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
which was 40%.
Furthermore
,
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adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1%and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
2% bit of salary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
. While,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
occupy 0. 5% wages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
.
However
,
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children
take up 12% of
Possible spelling mistake found.
stipped
for
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video
and 18% of wages was
Consider using a past participle here: "disbursed".
disburse
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and 17% by girls for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
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IELTS academic The tabular chart illustrates the ratio of expenses spent on four common products in the UK in 1998

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
199 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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