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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years. l9pb
The pie charts illustrate the tools that people in the age of 18-25 use to watch televisions in Canada in 2009 and 2019. There was a significant change in the appliances used by people during the period. In 2009, 34 percent of people used conventional TVs to watch televisions, and 20 percent used laptops to watch televisions. Meanwhile, desktop computer and mobile phone were used to watch televisions by 18 percent and 15 percent, respectively. Still, only 8 percent use flat-screen TV and 5 percent use tablet to watch television. In 2019, the percentage of each tool were notably changed. The percentage of people using conventional TV dropped sharply to only 4 percent, while the percentage of people using laptop and desktop computer decreased to 12 percent. However, there was an remarkable upward trend in using flat-screen TV, mobile phone, and tablet to watch television. The percentage of people using flat-screen TV sharply surged from 8 percent in 2009 to 27 percent in 2019. Also, 19 percent of people used tablet for viewing purpose and 26 percent of people used mobile phone.
The pie charts illustrate the tools that
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people
in the age of 18-25
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
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watch
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televisions
in Canada in 2009 and 2019. There was a significant
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change
in the appliances
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used
by
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people
during the period.

In 2009, 34
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percent
of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
conventional TVs to
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watch
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televisions
, and 20
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percent
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used
laptops to
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watch
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televisions
. Meanwhile, desktop computer and mobile phone were
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used
to
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watch
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televisions
by 18
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percent
and 15
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percent
,
respectively
.
Still
,
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only
8
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percent
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use
flat-screen TV and 5
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percent
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use
tablet to
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watch
television.

In 2019, the
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percentage
of each tool were
notably
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changed
. The
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percentage
of
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people
using conventional TV dropped
sharply
to
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only
4
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percent
, while the
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percentage
of
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people
using laptop and desktop computer decreased to 12
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percent
.
However
, there was
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
remarkable upward trend in using flat-screen TV, mobile phone, and tablet to
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watch
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television
. The
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percentage
of
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people
using flat-screen TV
sharply
surged from 8
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percent
in 2009 to 27
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percent
in 2019.
Also
, 19
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percent
of
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people
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used
tablet for viewing purpose and 26
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percent
of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
mobile phone.
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IELTS academic The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in Canada in two different years.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
182 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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Task Achievement: 5.5
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