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The graph provides information about a number of people over 4 years old, who used radio and television throughout one day in UK in the year 1992.

The graph provides information about a number of people over 4 years old, who used radio and television throughout one day in UK in the year 1992. wylN
The graph provides information about a number of people over 4 years old, who used radio and television throughout one day in UK in the year 1992. Also, this number is measured in percentages. Overall, it’s clear that a quantity of both radio and television audience experienced fluctuations in a span of the whole period. Meanwhile the percentage of radio users went up and down quite gradually, the index of television audience tended to change much more markedly. With regards to individuals listening to the radio, it was 8 o’clock in the morning when this station happened to be the most srtriking one with reaching point of merely 30 percent. Consequently, it began to fall moderately to just over 10 percent at 4 pm. After that, the radion index showed some slight fluctuations following an downward trend by hitting about 2 percent at 6 o’clock in the morning other day. In comparison, well from 0 percent at 6 am to approximately 47 percent at 8 pm, volume of the television audience was rising sharply with a number of downward trends. Whereas, after its prime time at 8 o’clock in the evening, the percentage tended to show a steady decrease by around 2 o’clock at night.
The graph provides information about a number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 4 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
throughout one day in UK in the year 1992.
Also
, this number
is measured
in percentages.

Overall
, it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that a quantity of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
audience experienced fluctuations in a span of the whole period.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Meanwhile
the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
users went up and down quite
gradually
, the index of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
audience tended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
much more
markedly
.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
individuals listening to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
, it was 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
o’clock
in the morning when this station happened to be the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
srtriking
one with reaching point of
merely
30
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
Consequently
, it began to fall
moderately
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
over 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
at 4 pm. After that, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
radion
index
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
slight fluctuations following
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
downward trend by hitting about 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
at 6
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
o’clock
in the morning other day.

In comparison
, well from 0
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
at 6 am to approximately 47
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
at 8 pm, volume of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
audience was rising
sharply
with a number of downward trends. Whereas, after its prime time at 8
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
o’clock
in the evening, the percentage tended to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
a steady decrease by around 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
o’clock
at night.

IELTS academic The graph provides information about a number of people over 4 years old, who used radio and television throughout one day in UK in the year 1992.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
205 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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